Tuesday, May 03, 2005


As I struggled with one more day of the rainy season, discontent flowed inside my heart. My soul turning bitter I cried out to God in my head as I dragged poor little Phillip through mud and puddles of water to school. The little man was not happy with me...as I rushed him and was impatient with this 2 year old who was just trying to keep his own umbrella over his head.
I have very little patience for pitty parties...so mine also irritate me deeply. Because the truth is at the bottom of every pitty party there is a great lie that is shacking its fist against God. The lies mounting themselves against first the people of God and then against God Himself, all exposing the poverty of my heart and the dependence on earthly things. A car. The sin of looking around and comparing ourselves to others...the standard...we seem to be below, and yet we walked the road we choose. The other lie...I am a masoquist...and so is my husband...why did we choose a missions agency that let's us go with no set up money? And why does God give to some and not to others? I will not share a sparkly vision with supporters to fund our lives...I just wish people with team up with us for the shear people that we are, created in God's image, therefore worthy to go and serve. Thoughts of tentmaking because it would be so much easier flood my brain for a while. But why? Lord have mercy on me, whose wickedness and poverty of heart is revealed in the muck and mud of an unpaved street. Whose patience toward my son is nill. Whose heart is filled with rebellion agaisnt You. Increase my trust, that I may die to the passing comforts of this life. And if ministry or any title leads me away from You, remove it, and heal my heart.


At 1:55 PM, Blogger Bob Furman said...

Hi Joel and Katrina,

Thanks so much for letting us know where you two are.

Joel I remember at the seminary graduation that you wanted to do some good in Brazil.

I'm proud to see you pursue your goals and dreams.

Brazil doesn't know how lucky it is to have you two!!

We're having a tough slug with big truck sales off -(due to gasoline prices).

Our used and fixed operations have been carrying the load.

Mike McLennan is now the Dealer at what used to be Cessna Chrysler Dodge Jeep.It now is Martin Chrysler Jeep Dodge.

So we have consolidated our local market.There always is a silver lining in every dark cloud.

It sounds like you too are looking for a silver lining when pushed to your capabilities.

That is good as growth is the result of your best stretch.

I've put your address to my favorites and feel more complete knowing one of my extended family is at least in communication agian.

I'm very proud of the both of you.You are pursuing that which you both are so well equipped to do - it is a better world with you two so well matched and chasing ones dream is so productive.

Send pictures - I've no idea what Brazil is like.

Bob Furman and the crew at MAP


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